By Reva Hamilton
Once upon a time I walked on this earth in a bit of a fog with a belief that I was never enough. Shame lived in me like a vine, tangling me with doubt and fear, holding me back from living freely, fully and wholeheartedly.
My destiny introduced me to Family and Systemic Constellations with facilitator Mary Rentschler in 2006 in Washington, D.C. The person I am today has been influenced greatly from my journey with constellations.
I now dance in the world with a mysterious and delicious comfort in trusting I am enough.
I am humbly grateful to my teachers and the creators of this remarkable method of being given the opportunity to consent, and to agree and to see what is.
My family tree
During my training with Francesca Mason Boring, a friend of Rani George, a yoga and Systemic Constellations facilitator, graciously decided to share her talent of researching genealogy. How lucky and wonderful for us during our own soul journey with our ancestors!
Donna Selig was brilliant, fast and amazing. Her final gift after her research was to create my Bowtie Chart.
This poem came out of that experience:
I could not walk away from this tall piece of paper
Of my herstory
I read it,
Dreamt about it
Talked about it
Journeyed about it
Connecting me to the people of my DNA
One spring morning I woke up and focused on the tree that was growing up the middle of my Bow Tie Chart. I created a Sequoia Tree from beautiful handmade paper. I gathered all the photos of ancestors and family. I spent time rearranging them until I had to say out loud, “It’s done, it’s perfect, it’s enough.”
My decision to send Our Family Tree to my parents who are now 89 and living in Taos, N.M., felt right.
I was impatiently waiting to hear from them. My dad called, and first thing he asked was “What did you use to put the photos on the paper?” Certainly not what I thought his first words would be.
I laughed and said, “Glue.”
After a few breaths I asked, “Why?”
He said, ”All the photos but a couple fell off the tree.”
I desperately wanted to cry. I hoped he was joking. Then I remembered I had sent a photo of the bowtie chart.
I said, “You could glue them back on!”
Silence from the other end of the line.
He answered slowly, “Maybe we will get a book and put them in it.”
I could hear all of my ancestors whispering to me: “It’s the journey.” The multiverse has a sense of humor.
More poems have come as well:
Bridge or Ravine
Which do you desire?
Build a bridge or create a ravine?
Discernment, courage, trust, acceptance, integrity, and resilience
Allows a Bridge of Connectedness
Judgment, fear and blame
Which creates a ravine
Of loneliness and separateness.
We have a choice.
My family laid roots down in lands far away
Where my feet have yet to walk
When the uprooting occurred did a part of us stay?
Out of a loyalty or a need
An essence, a love or a suffering grief.
Time to plan?
Were the roots carefully dug up and gathered
With respect and gratitude for all that was received ?
Or did we flee in hunger and fear?
What and who did we have to leave behind?
By seeking life we did survive.
Did our new “home” welcome us?
When did the feeling of connectedness and belonging embrace us?
However the decision formed, a forced choice, a demand, a command,
a gift from destiny
The desire, the need, the drive to survive
Lives vibrantly in me.
My countries of my roots
I see you
My Language of my roots
I Hear you
I honor you
Dedicated lovingly to the pioneers of Family and Systemic Constellations.
The Three Day Shine
The first three days after a constellation circle, I shine in the
My mind is quiet
With varying shades of sound
I fall down the spiral as the explosion of change erupts
I look for shelter
someplace to hide from myself
to take away this scary, shaky, strained deep core pain of change
Then the sweet tide of reality washes over me
Whispering softly to my DNA
Do I choose to consent to what is?
Join us for the 2017 North American Systemic Constellations Conference Oct. 5-8 in Virginia Beach, Va., for health professionals, educators, business and life coaches, consultants, clergy, community activists, change makers and others interested in alternative health, social justice and innovative practices. A pre-conference is also available. More info here. We'd love to have you subscribe to our e-letter here.
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